Guy-stalking

Come back, you are supposed to be in love with me!

Some ”friends” are just incredible. The one I’m going to talk about is more like a relative to me: we’ve been neighbours since we were born, so she’s just became an integral part of my life. We are completely different in every possible way, still we love and accept each other the way we are.  People often ask me why we are still friends, and then I explain that she is like a sister to me – and you cannot choose your siblings. Nor can you help someone if they don’t want help.

She never wants to know how I am doing (at least not in depth), doesn’t read my blog, didn’t even care to read my book, so I don’t usually share anything important with her. You know, you have these buddies: the ones you hang out with but never quite open up to. It’s okay in our relationship, because she just adores talking about herself – not so much talking, but rather arguing with others about her problems. I’m used to it – so I usually say what she wants to hear, backed up with my own opinion, in the hope that it would help her. Well, she doesn’t usually listen anyway.

Today she called me again, only to inform me that the guy she’s been stalking had sent her to hell. The poor thing doesn’t really want to meet her anymore, but she is convinced this is just a temporary mental breakdown and he will eventually realize they are meant to be together, so keeps calling him on a daily basis. I tried to explain her that it’s better to forget the whole thing and look for other guys (she claims to be in love after having met the victim three times) before the situation gets even more humilating and embrassing for her. 

“Look, you are a pretty girl, a fun person to be with, and yeah, you have learned the lesson with these past four dates” – I explained, reminding her that the previous three boyhunting attempts failed at the same point: she keeps stalking the guy after the first date until the poor victim gets scared like hell and does everything to get rid of her. 
“Oh, god, I can’t believe you are this stupid. I’m just telling you that he had anger and passion in his voice when he told me not to call again, I mean if has no feelings for me, he wouldn’t be so passionate about telling me to leave him alone! But he was angry, not indifferent…”
“…which makes you think that he still has feelings for you?”
“Exactly, otherwise he wouldn’t even pick up the phone” - nevertheless she admitted she called his workphone from an “unknown number” during office hours which kinda explains why he picked it up.
“Come on… he is angry because you told him rude things and hurt his innermost feelings. Let’s say he still likes you as a woman, but what can you do when he feels like this relationship is not worth all the mess?”
“You mean it’s not worth my hysterias and sudden outbursts…”
“Yes, I’m sorry to say but the way you acted… don’t be surprised if he wants a peaceful, calm relationship instead of a… well… hmmm, you know, instead of the company of a more passionate girl who is the subject of such rapid ups and downs” – I don’t think I could have put it in a more polite way.
“See, you don’t understand men at all! You have no fucking idea about guys, you are a total antimwoman anyway!” – yes, I don’t wear high-heel shoes and I’m not the flirty kind. 
“Can be, but we are not talking about me right now” – or ever, I added quietly in brackets.
“Fuck, you say this because you would never fight for a guy or in fact anything, you give up everything as you are such a weakling!”
The funny thing is that this was such a pathetic attempt to make me feel bad about myself that I didn’t even bother to feel hurt. It was not true in the first place, secondly I knew she was just angry because – for the first time in years -, I refused to say what she wanted to hear. The truth is that I thought why not to tell her my real opinion when the conversation lasts even longer if I feed her ego??? She just loves listening to stuff she wants to hear.
“I may be a weakling, but my personal opinion is that if somebody clearly tells you to leave them alone and refuses to answer your sms’s, calls and emails, it’s simply better to stop… hmm, stop trying to get in touch with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t find you pretty anymore, it just means he does not want to be in a relationship with you at the moment. At the moment, and who knows what future brings, but for now it’s better to…”

And then she hung up. Tell me that I’m rude and insensitive but I feel so relieved right now.