Dream-factory

You know what is weird? Passionately and crazily, I used to believe all my life that there is nothing worse than seeing your dreams fade away, letting go of your hopes and “high expectations”. Without dreams, we are nothing: even if it’s just a small, seemingly insignificant station within your own complex lifesphere.

Recently, I often catch myself standing right at the corner of my dreams… being paralyzed, drown, unable to move. It often feels like something deep inside puts a halt on me, and I just CANNOT – without any further explanation – do what I know I should do.

As if having a dream come true would take away the mere ability to keep living in your daydreams… as if realizing a previously important idea or plan would kill the holy hours of waiting-hoping… staying at the edge of the unknown, being undefined and deprived. Yes, deprived: a dream realized is a dream deprived.

Strange? Never thought of this consciously – until recently. And guess what: I found quite a few people doing this. “They could have it all” – and then they suddenly step back and give up, and don’t even realize it. Later they tend to merge this with other causes and effects, and blame it on something or someone else.

It’s like being shy and unable to communicate with certain strangers in certain circumstances. Until you stop for a while in the middle of doing something trivial, and a surge of eternity touches you: but we are ALL so much the same! What the fuck should we be afraid of us, when most of our drives and motivations are pretty much the same…??? And nothing changes that, no age, no fame, no social status or orientation.

Please God, give me strength to realize all my worthy ideas, plans and dreams, and not be afraid.

Afraid of what? Probably there is nothing to be afraid of. These things only exist in our mind. Or not even there, if we shake head and refuse to let those demons it.